Why Your Team Sucks 2. Denver Broncos. Some people are fans of the Denver Broncos. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Denver Broncos. This 2. 01. 6 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews here. History will be kind to this team because the defense was sensational, and because they got Peyton Manning a second ring and sent him into retirement on a cloud of Jim Nantz. This was one of the worst championship teams of my lifetime. Entertainment Television, LLC. A Division of NBCUniversal with news, shows, photos, and videos. Kali (English: Anger) is a 2016 Indian Malayalam-language action thriller film directed and co-produced by Sameer Thahir. It stars Dulquer Salmaan and Sai Pallavi. Zapraszamy do zapoznania si. The UK based online showbiz magazines covers everything from. Speakers: Dana Willhoit, CEO, The Press Release Site If your customers can’t find you online, they’re going to do business with the companies they can locate! Bad Neighbours 2 2016 Full Movie Watch Online Free. Bad Neighbours 2 2016 Full Movie Watch Online Free : Fast and Bad Neighbours 2 2016 full movie watch online, Bad. Popular Mechanics inspires, instructs and influences readers to help them master the modern world. Whether it's practical DIY home-improvement tips, gadgets and. I saw the dead bodies”: Documentary “Fire at Sea” captures the heartbreak of the migrant crisis. Like the 2. 00. 0 Ravens or the 2. Bucs, the 2. 01. 5 Broncos are gonna end up being one of those rare exceptions to the rule that you need great quarterbacking to win a Super Bowl. I need another, better Super Bowl champ to come along this winter to help wash the taste out of my mouth. Or I need to watch this again. When no team is good enough to seize the ring, they should just vacate the Super Bowl and give the ring to me for safekeeping. He sits on leads like a mother hen. Gary Kubiak is the Ditka to Wade Phillips. His hair looks like it was drawn by an animator cooking up a new enemy for Voltron. Your quarterback: Quarterback? All I see on this roster are old sandwich crusts and pickle jar lids. Hard to believe there. MANY steps down, in fact! John Elway puffed his horsey cheeks and chased Brock Osweiler out of town when the young QB dared to ask for a few extra million and a guaranteed starting job. As a result of Osweiler. Your current starter is future trivia question answer Trevor Siemian. Behind him is rookie quarterback and terrible omen for the future of American baby names Paxton Lynch (STOP NAMING CHILDREN AFTER ACTION MOVIE CHARACTERS THAT EXIST ONLY IN YOUR IMAGINATION). And then there was Mark Sanchez. Keep in mind that the Broncos actually traded for Buttfumble, only to immediately regret it, as one does. Sanchez is now in Dallas. Wait until he discovers the steakhouse titty bars there. Whole new world for him. My wife has a subscription to Parents magazine, and the fun thing about Parents magazine is that. Anderson to break off a 2. If you thought the Denver defense had to carry the bulk of the load last year, wait until September. There are single Catholic mothers who are less put- upon than this defense. Yes, that swaggering, balls- big- enough- to- need- a- wheelbarrow unit that won a championship last year has suffered the traditional, post- Super Bowl free agent raid. Gone are studs Malik Jackson and Danny Trevathan. And Derek Wolfe has already done his best Von Miller impersonation and gotten suspended for four games. The O- line also lost Ryan Clady and Evan Mathis, and then Elway attempted to compensate by signing Russell Okung, whose negotiating skills make even Ricky Williams wince. If I were you guys, I would drink myself stupid all season long, bask in the championship afterglow, and pretend my offense isn. At least Von got paid. What has always sucked: Aqib Talib! Yes, Aqib Talib got shot this offseason. Why do guns always go off at Talib family barbecues? I will say this, though: there. Like Dwayne Allen! And Corey Brown! Honestly, it. This whole team is dirty. The entire front office drives like they. Shiloh Keo drives even worse and then blames it on The Man. Ryan Murphy pulled a Eugene Robinson before the Super Bowl. Wolfe gets in nightclub fights like an asshole. This team is full of raging dickheads, which makes them PERFECT for this spoiled little fanbase. If there were truly a God, he never would have gifted these fans another title after they way they handled the post- Elway years. He would have fried them with lightning for heckling Jake Plummer and Jay Cutler out of town and embracing Tim goddamn Tebow instead. Broncos safety Shiloh Keo was pulled over for having a busted tail light on Feb. Denver has quickly devolved from a relatively low- key, affordable city into the next American nightmare urban dystopia. The real estate market is already completely out of control. Condos are almost as expensive as New York, without any of the charm or culture. You pay Upper East Side rent to live next to a fucking Hard Rock Cafe. Wanna head to the mountains go skiing with your ski bros? The whole area has been Aspen- ified into misery. And the Broncos, led by King Idiot Elway, are well on their way to being equally expensive and overrated. You need no positive reinforcement from me. Take your championship and put it in your butt. I think there is a legitimate chance that the defense outscores the offense. Maybe they should just punt on first down. Kevin: Fuck Mark Brunell and those . We drafted wife beater Montee Ball over Eddie Lacy! Also, never trust a running back from Wisconsin. Same goes with Bronco fans. Even if you have a criticism, you will get knocked for being a bad fan for simply stating your opinion. After going through Jay Cutler, Kyle Orton, and Tim Tebow, Broncos fans are only starting to realize that Jake Plummer wasn. We replace the Sheriff with Butt. Fumble? Mario: Aside from the many racist fans in our ranks hoping to see Cam . We shared our greatest moment of joy with the Klan. For a fanbase that had zero faith in our team midseason last year, we are pretty smug now, in the most annoying way possible: ? Tom Brady took a jail beating and was probably pissing blood for a week, he still looked better than any quarterback we could have ever propped up with a stick. Mark Fucking Butt Fumble Sanchez couldn. Yet, we all get hard at the thought of the Sheriff (fuck us for that nickname) coming back to save us at the last second. Will: Aqib Talib was so drunk it. Matthew: After Brock Osweiler left town & Peyton. Yes, the same Tim Tebow that couldn. And the presumptive starting quarterback for the Broncos is the SAME Mark Sanchez that Tebow couldn. The fans here in Denver are so dumb they think that Chip Kelly was the reason Tebow didn. Chase: Why Denver sucks: 1. The Green Rush- This is where everyone from states that don. This has fucked up our housing market where unless you make bank, you can. The shit houses are available are 3. Last year I wrote about how the on ramps are short as fuck. After getting different job in different part of Denver I have realized that at least 2. While you are trying to speed up to get on interstate, some fuck is trying to slow down and get off of interstate. All the jobs are in the fucking Denver Tech Center. There are only 2 ways to get there from anywhere in Denver and the first choice is always I2. Also 2. 5 fucking sucks during lunch, LUNCH. Why the Broncos suck: 1. You handle a pizza better than you handle the football. Aqib Talib fucking shot himself due to him being a drunk fuck then told everyone to not say it was him that shot himself. Our new rookie QB Lynch looks like Guy Fawkes. Fuck Peyton for always telling the fans to shut up. Aaron: While I strongly feel Elway is the best GM in the league over the last few years, his negotiation tactics are Belichickian in their ruthlessness, which is both annoying and going to implode the team as soon as we hit mediocrity again. Mike: Half the current fan base is made up of people who were . Meanwhile we get to strap in for the QB Hydra of Butt Fumble, Chris Cornell and Trevor Siemian. Also you just know when John Elway isn. Here are just the opening few lines, talking about Paxton Lynch, the frat bro of the NFL draft: Loyalty. In terms of the NFL, the loyalty lies with the bottom line. There are a few exceptions to the rule, and what hat we wear will show our allegiance and what we believe. When it comes to the Denver Broncos, it starts at the top. Anyway, just thought you should be aware of this change in the team that for decades has only had the bragging rights of being better than the Raiders. Fuck John Elway, fuck Mark Sanchez, and fuck the Broncos. Peter: Broncos fans have a remarkable habit of believing every quarterback who ever completed a pass is the next John Elway. In 2. 01. 2, there was a legitimate faction of Broncos fans who thought Elway should have stuck with Tebow rather than signing Peyton Manning. Seriously, they thought we were better off with a pimply church camp counselor who managed to mount a few fourth- quarter comebacks (the only things he would ever mount) on our way to a 9- 7 season than ostensibly the most dominant quarterback in the NFL throughout the previous decade. They thought we were better off with someone who, four years later, only makes headlines when he accompanies abstinent high schoolers to prom, rather than someone who would go on to lead the team to four division titles and two Super Bowls. Then, in 2. 01. 5, when Manning got injured because he. Never mind the fact that he couldn. Never mind the fact that his debut against the Bears . Never mind the fact that he turned over the ball approximately 4. Chargers defense (which is not good). Now? Trevor Fucking Siemian. The guy who was considered a . The guy who, in a convert- or- lose 2- point conversion attempt in college, fell over. Like in a slapstick comedy. Is there one compelling reason to believe this guy is better than the other two quarterbacks on the team, one of whom is a seasoned veteran who has led his team to two conference championships (yes, buttfumble, I know, but still), and the other a first- round pick who at least has a high ceiling? Drew, you could walk into Broncos training camp next week, complete a screen pass to Emmanuel Sanders for a six- yard gain, and fans would start a petition to rename Pike. Also Denver fans are spoiled pieces of shit who consider anything but another Super Bowl victory a lost season that isn. The offensive line was a pile of shit. What did the Broncos do? They kept the shitty running backs. Our big free agent signing involved screwing over a guy who was too dumb to hire an agent. The really, really good defense? Half of it hightailed it out of here. They did everything in their power to stick it to the one guy who they supposedly wanted to keep before giving him a contract that made Aaron Rodgers say . Von Miller will probably destroy his knee in week 3.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
December 2016
Categories |